Finest Barber in London
by OrangeKattyKat
Summary: What? Oh, that, sir? Why, that’s Mr. Sweeney Todd’s barber shop, sir. Finest barber in London, that's Mr. Sweeney Todd, sir." One-shot.


What? Oh, that, sir? Why, that's Mr. Sweeney Todd's barber shop, sir. Finest barber in London, that's Mr. Sweeney Todd, sir. Mr. Todd's got a rather nasty temper on him, sir. Never lets us beggers in front of his shop, not even the young ones. But still, I think Mr. Todd's a right handsome thing, sir. What with his dark hair and black eyes. But most of the ladies don't really think so, sir. Not around here. That's why he never married, that Mr. Todd. He's seeing Mrs. Lovett now though. Mrs. Lovett's a real lady, sir. Always gives us poor folks the leftover pies on nights when the crowd is small. They's delicious, sir! Why, yes, Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett, they're a brilliant couple, they is. Finest barber and best meat pies on London, that's them. Why, sir? If you don't mind me asking so. Oh, no, sir. That's as good a reason as any, sir. Unusual? No, sir. I never sees nothing out of the ordinary. Pardon my forwardness, Mister. But why all the questions? Oh, sorry, sir. I didn't know you was a policeman. I'm just a poor beggar you see. But no. I never been near Mr. Sweeney Todd's shop. He's a little scary, he is. But that Mrs. Lovett of his. I tell you, sir, Mr. Todd's a lucky man to get such a fine lady as she. But there was this friend a mine, sir. His name's Toby, Mister. What? Oh, we known each other all a our lives. Used to work at the factory together, we did. That was a right foul place, sir. You wouldn't want to fall asleep there. Anyways, sir, my friend Toby was taken from the shop to work for Senior Perrielli. He gots him to take me too. Toby's a fine lad, he is. Always looked out for me, worrying and such. It's cause I'm a girl and a pretty one too, Toby says. Perrielli, sir? He was a barber too, you know. Mr. Todd showed him, he did. Beat him in a shaving contest, fair and square. No one'd heard of Mr. Sweeney before that, sir. Afterwards, Mr. Perrielli just kind of disappeared. Dead?! Oh no, sir! What would make you say that?! Of course, sir. Sorry, sir. I don't know any better. I'm just a begger you see. Thank you, sir. Ah, yes. Well after Mr. Perrielli left Mrs. Lovett hired Toby. He tried to get her to take me on too, but there's nothing I could do. All the jobs in places like that is just grinding and cooking in that big oven. Not a girl's work at all, sir. I works as a seamstress for the local tailor. Anyways, sir. Toby said he saws something a little strange down in Mr. Todd's shop sir. He says that they's this fancy chair. And I says to him, "Why, Toby! That ain't nothing. Mr. Sweeney Todd's a barber, he is. He's bound to have a nice chair." but Toby says to me that it ain't no ordinary chair, sir. He says that they's this little pedal on the floor and when you push it the chair tips backwards and they's this opening in the floor that leads to the basement. I told's Toby not to worry, sir. Cause it ain't none a our business to be snooping around Mr. Todd's shop. Anything else, sir? Well... Toby says that Mrs. Lovett never gets her meat from the butcher, sir. He says that Mr. Todd gets it for her. Sometimes she sends me over there to get it. But I's always to scared to get real close to Mr. Todd. So's Toby does it for her. But I don't think that's anything to worry about, sir. Mr. Todd's her fiancé, you know. He probably gets it for her down at the butcher. Doesn't want a right lady like her going near them grisly men, probably. Yes, sir. I be sure to remember you, sir. I'll talk to Toby and find you if I hears anything weird. Wow! Thanks so much, Mister Policeman sir! Oh, gosh! A whole shilling! No, sir. I was glad to help, sir! Glad to help! If you don't mind me asking you one more question though... Does you really thing Mr. Sweeney Todd killed them people, sir? Well, I think Perrielli just got friad cause Mr. Todd was running his out of business. Good riddance on his part, sir. He always beat Toby. Well, sir, if'n you figure out it was Mr. Todd, leave me out of it please. I don't was him to slit my throat.


End file.
